I didnt want to use my own story for this technique because I am unsure if I want to add a scene still or just expand on the scenes I already have, so I made up a character and a quick plot. There is Tom and he just found out that he has a super power, but it isn't a very cool one. He can turn objects into meat. Like chicken, ham, hamburger, steak, any object into any kind of meat. There are a lot of emotion that go along with finding that out. After settling with the fact that his power is completely lame and useless, he finds his importance in life:
"I don't know Mary, maybe I'm not so special after all." Tom said with a shrug. Tom and Mary were walking to the arcade downtown. Mary shrugged too, "Yeah, I don't know, maybe not, but you still are the only person I know that has a special ability Tom. That has got to count for something right?" Tom let out a sigh, "Why couldn't I fly or move objects with my mind or something cool. Why cant I be like Superman or Spidey or something? Whatever, I guess you're right, it's better then nothing."
They turned down 78th street. Tom and Mary started walking a little faster. Before they left, Tom's mother told them not to take this way. It was a big shortcut, but his mom said that it can be dangerous. Tom figured what was the worst that could happen? Besides, if they were going to be able to spend all of the free credits his uncle gave him, they needed all of the time they could get. Up ahead they saw an old man on the sidewalk. Mary grabbed Tom's hand, "Should we go the the other side?" Tom looked to the other side. Tom also knew that they were only supposed to cross at lights, and there were lots of cars coming from both ways. Tom tried sounding confident, "No Mary, it'll be no biggie c'mon lets keep going."
They were passing the old man and Tom started thinking that it really was going to be no biggie when the old man quickly grabbed Mary's arm. The old man smelled of old whiskey and garbage. The teeth he still had were brown and crooked and his breath reached out to the kids and slapped them across the noses. Mary let out a little squeal and latched onto Tom. The old man could barely open his eyes and asked, "You too little lads got any spare change?" Tom yanked Mary away from the man's grasp and said with a shaky voice, "No sir, no money at all sorry." That made the old man mad and he opened his eyes fully. Tom and Mary were both shocked and scared at how red his eyes were. "Don't lie to me now, I know your rich mommies and daddies wouldn't let you two out of the house without a little spending cash. I haven't eaten all week and if you don't give me some money to feed myself, I think I might just have to make a meal of you!"
The old man whipped out a butter knife and raise it towards Tom. Tom quickly reached out and grabbed the garbage bin on the sidewalk and turned it into a giant turkey. The old man and Mary both looked in shock and Tom grabbed Mary and began running with here, hoping the old man would focus on the turkey and not them. Without turning back, they heard the old man yell, "It's a miracle!" and it was then that Tom knew his purpose in life.
Okay, that was really corney I know, but I have just started watching the TV series Heroes and it inspired me to write something similar. This didn't turn out very well, but the clouding exercise was interesting.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Cutting up our paper
I'm not sure what I was supposed to see by cutting my story all up and taping it back together and reading it. The only thing I really noticed was that whenever Earl's name came up, Carson's was usually immediately after, and vice versa. But that is really it, I don't know what I should have seen really.
plotting and making conflict
I just chose one of the examples and tried to expand on it, I hope that is ok.
An eccentric substitute teacher subverts the 2+2=4 universe of her fourth grade students by introducing them to “substitute facts” (such as 6 x 11=68), Egyptian cosmology, and the curse of the Hope Diamond. One afternoon she explains the use of Tarot Cards, and predicts the early death of a particular student. (Charles Baxter’s “Gryphon.”)
What is at stake? The student's, Suzy, life is at stake, but if it gets saved, you risk upsetting the balance of the universe.
"Alright students now watch carefully." Ms. Shinebocker started mixing the Tarot Cards. This would be the last lesson she would have a chance to teach her class. Their regular teacher was going to be back tomorrow so she had to go out with a bang. The lights dimmed, but nobody touched the light switch. The desks scraped across the floor in a circle, but there was nobody there to move them. Ms. Shinebocker stared wildly at the cards in the center of the room as they begun to smoke.
With a shaky voice little Suzy was the first to speak up, "Ms.Shinebocker, are you ok? I don't like this."
Ms. Shinebocker's wild stare was then diverted to Suzy. With eyes wide she pointed at her, "it is you! You are the one little Suzy! You are going to be dead before the week is over!"
The class gasped. The lights went back to normal and the smoke emitting from the cards was beginning to clear. Ms. Shinebocker's eyes closed, and when they opened back, she looked determined. "Alrighty kids, what did you think of that? The world is a magical place indeed isn't it? Ok now, how about we get our desks back in their rows and do a little reading huh?"
All the kids looked around at each other. What just happened? Jim was about to find out. See, Suzy was Jim's sweet thing and he always protected her against everything, and Ms. Shinebocker would be no different. He raised is hand, but before Ms. Shinebocker even called on him he yelled, "What do you mean Suzy will be dead before the week is over?"
Ms. Shinebocker waved her hand, "Oh Jim, so valiant even at such a young age, but even you will not be able to save her. It is the future Jim, it is meant to be. If it is to be changed, then the balance of the entire universe could become upset. I sure am sorry little Suzy, but it is your destiny. It is hard to see it now, but your early departure from existence is meant to be for the greater good of things. I am truly sorry though my dear."
Jim had to do something, but Ms. Shinebocker seemed too set in her ways to help him. He had a plan, "Yeah right, hah, I bet you just made all of that stuff up huh? You really have been a funny sub Shiner." Ms. Shinebocker looked shocked, good Jim thought it's working. "What does this future of yours look like huh? How does little Suzy die? You can't see that no way!"
"Oh little boy! I can too see the future and everything I have shown you all has been real. Don't think you are going to fool me that easy though boy, I will not tell you how Suzy dies, as I have said, the fate of the universe depends on her death. You screw that up, who knows what the future could turn out like. I am not putting that up to chance, I am not going to be the one to screw up the balance."
Jim thought he had done it but he failed. He couldn't imagine a life without Suzy. He couldn't let her die.
An eccentric substitute teacher subverts the 2+2=4 universe of her fourth grade students by introducing them to “substitute facts” (such as 6 x 11=68), Egyptian cosmology, and the curse of the Hope Diamond. One afternoon she explains the use of Tarot Cards, and predicts the early death of a particular student. (Charles Baxter’s “Gryphon.”)
What is at stake? The student's, Suzy, life is at stake, but if it gets saved, you risk upsetting the balance of the universe.
"Alright students now watch carefully." Ms. Shinebocker started mixing the Tarot Cards. This would be the last lesson she would have a chance to teach her class. Their regular teacher was going to be back tomorrow so she had to go out with a bang. The lights dimmed, but nobody touched the light switch. The desks scraped across the floor in a circle, but there was nobody there to move them. Ms. Shinebocker stared wildly at the cards in the center of the room as they begun to smoke.
With a shaky voice little Suzy was the first to speak up, "Ms.Shinebocker, are you ok? I don't like this."
Ms. Shinebocker's wild stare was then diverted to Suzy. With eyes wide she pointed at her, "it is you! You are the one little Suzy! You are going to be dead before the week is over!"
The class gasped. The lights went back to normal and the smoke emitting from the cards was beginning to clear. Ms. Shinebocker's eyes closed, and when they opened back, she looked determined. "Alrighty kids, what did you think of that? The world is a magical place indeed isn't it? Ok now, how about we get our desks back in their rows and do a little reading huh?"
All the kids looked around at each other. What just happened? Jim was about to find out. See, Suzy was Jim's sweet thing and he always protected her against everything, and Ms. Shinebocker would be no different. He raised is hand, but before Ms. Shinebocker even called on him he yelled, "What do you mean Suzy will be dead before the week is over?"
Ms. Shinebocker waved her hand, "Oh Jim, so valiant even at such a young age, but even you will not be able to save her. It is the future Jim, it is meant to be. If it is to be changed, then the balance of the entire universe could become upset. I sure am sorry little Suzy, but it is your destiny. It is hard to see it now, but your early departure from existence is meant to be for the greater good of things. I am truly sorry though my dear."
Jim had to do something, but Ms. Shinebocker seemed too set in her ways to help him. He had a plan, "Yeah right, hah, I bet you just made all of that stuff up huh? You really have been a funny sub Shiner." Ms. Shinebocker looked shocked, good Jim thought it's working. "What does this future of yours look like huh? How does little Suzy die? You can't see that no way!"
"Oh little boy! I can too see the future and everything I have shown you all has been real. Don't think you are going to fool me that easy though boy, I will not tell you how Suzy dies, as I have said, the fate of the universe depends on her death. You screw that up, who knows what the future could turn out like. I am not putting that up to chance, I am not going to be the one to screw up the balance."
Jim thought he had done it but he failed. He couldn't imagine a life without Suzy. He couldn't let her die.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Five helpful writing websites
My top five writing websites in no particular order:
http://resourcesforwriters.suite101.com/article.cfm/online_games_for_writers
www.writing-journey.com/internet-writing/178-internet-writing-tips
www.writersdigest.com
www.michaelcrichton.net
http://duotrope.com/
http://resourcesforwriters.suite101.com/article.cfm/online_games_for_writers
www.writing-journey.com/internet-writing/178-internet-writing-tips
www.writersdigest.com
www.michaelcrichton.net
http://duotrope.com/
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Rewrite of scene from movie
I chose the movie 300 thinking that some of its scenes fit really nicely with some of the mythical story telling structure things, then after watching it, I realized that it followed the structure very closely. Also, I love the movie, probably top 3 or 5 for me. While watching it, I typed up notes on the scenes that went along with the different patterns, then I chose a scene and tried story telling it. While I was typing my notes, I figured that was exactly what they were going to be, but now thinking about it, I figured I would just paste them in my blog. Being how I thought they were notes just for me, they are a little graphic and strange.
Ordinary world- Entire intro to movie showing how Spartans are made
Call to adventure- When the Persian comes into
Refusal of the Call- Oracle sends Leonidas away frustrated and torn.
Meeting the
Crossing the First Threshold- Leonidas gathers 300 men and leaves disregarding the rule of the gods and tells the prophets that he isn’t engaging in war. Leaves behind wife and child
Test, Allies, Enemies- From early on in their journey/march, disfigured dude follows asks Leonidas if he can join and Leonidas declines him, ultimately leading to his downfall. Arcadians join as allies. Possible first test- reach burning village, young boy speaks of immortals, Arcadians are scared, Spartans are confident and keep marching on. Other possible test- Black guy comes to talk to a leader and sees that Spartans have built a wall of their peeps, and Spartans act like the badasses that they are and show the dude what’s up. Crippled dude shows himself telling about a back way to get to the Spartans and Leonidas stays cool and talks to him. But ultimately tells him that he cannot help them. Test being the hidden passage to the back of the Spartans that will ultimately lead them to their doom.
Approach to the Inmost Cave- 300 Spartans and weak Arcadians start whooping some ass and killing different waves of Persian warriors. First Persian gets spear thrown at him and the battle begins, the Spartans are incredibly badass. Defeat many waves with practiced precision. Astinof dies.
Supreme Ordeal- Cripple dude gives away hidden path. Leonidas tells many to leave and keeps a handful to die a beautiful death. Final showdown with Zerxies, Leonidas gets plan that seems like he can’t refuse.
Reward (Seizing the Sword)- Leonidas refuses to submit to Zerxies and proves that even a god-king can bleed at the cost of Leonidas’ life.
The Road Back- One eye guy went back to
Resurrection- A year later, one eye guy is the ruler of a huge army of 10,000 Spartans and 30,000 Greeks formed to revenge the 300 soldier’s deaths
Return with the Elixir- Assumed that since the 300 Spartans whooped so much ass, that 10,000 should have no problem doing work.
Call to adventure-
It started as normal a day as any. Leonidas was about finished with his Spartan lesson to his boy. Today was an important on; respect and honor. Little did Leonidas know that the events that would take place next would set up the events that would cement his story in history. Leonidas saw the concerned look in his wife’s eyes as his most trusted soldier and friend approached them.
“A Persian messenger awaits you.”
Leonidas knew this day would be soon to come and it didn’t worry him. The Spartans have gone long without a serious war and he knew the Persians were growing in number conquering numerous countries. It was a matter of time before they would be at the gates of
As Theron,
As the Persian messenger opened his mouth, Leonidas interrupted him, letting him know that in
As the Persian continued about the God-king Xerxes and how vast and powerful his army is, Leonidas didn’t even hear him. He knew it was time for
As Leonidas began speaking, that snake of a politician, Theron, began interrupting him, telling him to be diplomatic. Now Leonidas’ blood was really pumping, and he continued on with the Persian. Until he was cut off.
“Choose your next words wisely Leonidas.” This stupid arrogant Persian didn’t get it. The adrenalin was fully working in his body now. Leonidas could feel the cool breeze running across his feet and wrapping around his broad chest. He gazed as his countries vast hills and land, knowing that it very well could be one of the last times he would get to appreciate its beauty before he engaged in war. He looked at the children, women, and men around him, knowing that true Spartan blood ran through them all, and they were waiting for Leonidas to take care of this Persian.
As Leonidas pulled his sword to the unsuspecting Persian, all of his men around him did the same. The Persian was completely shocked; like for some reason he thought he could come into
“Earth and water, well you will find plenty of both down there.” His teeth were bared, he could taste the kill coming, “You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death. Oh, I have chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same.”
Leonidas gave the Persian one last long look. He knew that his next action meant war for
Sunday, November 1, 2009
character we drew
"Heel boy. What was that?" His horse's ears perked up; he had heard it too. THWACK. There it was again. Dirk unsheathed his sword. Dirk knew all too well the dangers on the trail to Yermton. The trail always looked very calm and peaceful, especially today. There was vast cornfields on the south side of the trail and leafless trees along the north side. The slight breeze ran all the way down Dirk's back, chilling his spine. THWACK! They were appoaching the sound cautiously. The stream ahead was the most dangerous part of the trip. THWACK! Dirk knew his horse would sense his unease, but he couldn't help but tense up. THWACK! They came around the corner and saw a man, no more than four feet tall. THWACK! The man's hammer slammed against the poorly put together cart on the back of his mule. With every swing of the hammer, it looked like it was about to fall further apart.
"Would you like a hand?"
The man turned around quickly and scowled. "No boy mind your business!"
Dirk put away his sword and approached the man. "I have more tools in my satchel, let me lend you a hand, this is no place to be hanging around."
The man approached Dirk looking intense and fierce. "Boy what do you know!" Dirk could smell the man's foul stench from four feet away. "I don't need the help of a baby hands little boy and I can handle myself."
The man's scowl showed what few teeth he had were quite crooked and brown. Even the man's mule reeked. Dirk desperately wanted to help, but if this man was going to be this stubborn and stupid, he deserved to be let behind. Dirk turned to his horse and whispered, "Alright boy, if this man want's to be left alone out here, let's leave him be."
"I'm not alone boy! I have my horse and my friends right here!" Surprised, Dirk looked around and saw nobody. There was no movement or anything. He lowered his voice even lower, "Besides, this man is crazy." The man jerked his head back, and he stared fiercely at Dirk. There was no way the man heard that Dirk thought. As Dirk started walking away, he looked back and caught the bitter old man looking at him walking away. Dirk couldn't tell it for sure, but he thought there was a glitter on the man's cheek that could have been a tear. He just kept on his way.
"Would you like a hand?"
The man turned around quickly and scowled. "No boy mind your business!"
Dirk put away his sword and approached the man. "I have more tools in my satchel, let me lend you a hand, this is no place to be hanging around."
The man approached Dirk looking intense and fierce. "Boy what do you know!" Dirk could smell the man's foul stench from four feet away. "I don't need the help of a baby hands little boy and I can handle myself."
The man's scowl showed what few teeth he had were quite crooked and brown. Even the man's mule reeked. Dirk desperately wanted to help, but if this man was going to be this stubborn and stupid, he deserved to be let behind. Dirk turned to his horse and whispered, "Alright boy, if this man want's to be left alone out here, let's leave him be."
"I'm not alone boy! I have my horse and my friends right here!" Surprised, Dirk looked around and saw nobody. There was no movement or anything. He lowered his voice even lower, "Besides, this man is crazy." The man jerked his head back, and he stared fiercely at Dirk. There was no way the man heard that Dirk thought. As Dirk started walking away, he looked back and caught the bitter old man looking at him walking away. Dirk couldn't tell it for sure, but he thought there was a glitter on the man's cheek that could have been a tear. He just kept on his way.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
blue moon
"This is a once and a lifetime opportunity, we gotta do this." It seems like nothing ever good comes from that sentence. Usually whenever you hear it's a once and a lifetime opportunity, it is a lot like hearing this is a limited time offer, order now. Just gimmicks and ploys to make you go along. This however was different. This time, my life was actually changed from the experience. And not even in a bad way.
We were deep in Sumatra. I don't even to this day know how Vegas, my best friend through life that got me in more trouble than I care to remember, found this place, this guide, even this island, but he did. Vegas had a friend that had found something incredible and wanted me and Vegas to be the first ones to see it. We are reporters. And some of the best ones in the world. Through our intense competition to the top of the reporting world is how we met and became friends, but that is a story for a different day.
Three days of walking across a jungle path that, at best, was wide enough for us to follow single file, and we finally arrived. Vegas and I were expecting something grand and spectacular, especially by how excited the friend was, but we had arrived to what looked like nothing more than a small opening in the ground, barely large enough for a man of reasonable size to fit through. The guide spoke very little English, but from what I understood at the time was that we were going to be a little uncomfortable. And that was a very large understatement, especially for anyone who is even a tiny claustrophobic.
It seemed like an eternity at the time, but looking back, it couldn't have been more than an hour or so of wiggling our way through the very small hole. It wasn't pleasant at all, there were things living in the hole first off, and there was just barely enough room to take a full breath. We were all exhausted by the end of the tunnel, and I remember very clearly being overwhelmingly relieved to be out of that cramped space, even though I had fallen out of the tunnel, into an underground pool, that felt more like one of the Great Lakes. Looking back, I don't know how the situation got better, but at the time it didn't matter. Somehow we managed to make our cramped tired bodies follow the guide to a shore where he shot off a flare. The cavern was immense, and so was the underground pool we just got out of. We appeared to make it to some sort of island. We set up camp and rested. The guide told us that we had a lot of walking to do.
The island was strange, but our destination was stranger. The ground we walked on for turned from sharp and ragged to flat and smooth. Also, the cavern began getting lighter. The closer we got to the light, the more movement there was. You could hear the bats above, and see the ground moving below. Then the source of the light. A whole way above in the cavern ceiling. No bigger than a football field. It gave enough light for sparse vegetation even. The guide pointed to a very large rock. Or what looked like a rock.
"You guys made it!"
It was Vegas' friend, he came from around another rock that we hadn't even noticed. There were tons of these rocks, all around, even where we came in, somehow we hadn't noticed them. As if that all wasn't enough, there was more. We heard a bark from behind us. It was a dog, but none like we had ever seen before. It was completely bald, and ghostly white, almost see through. Oh ya, it also had no eyes. It didn't even seem to notice. Vegas bent over to pet it and it's tale wagged.
"Guys, there is an entire society down here, undiscovered, this is their leader. They even have their own language down here, I have been trying to figure it out, and I've been getting pretty good. Oh, they don't shake hands, they fist pound. Ha cool huh?"
The man that he was standing next to was very short, no more than five foot, and he too was not only completely naked, but also 100% white. He still had eyes, but they were barely the size of pennies, and completely black.
Vegas and I stayed down there for a while and learned about the new society. It was hard to believe, too hard. That is why we decided that it was our duty to leave these people be. If we released the information we got about them, it would ruin them. They would become every scientist, every anthropologist, shit, everybody's little scientific experiment. We couldn't bring all that publicity to those people, so we left them be. I'm a writer though and writing is what I do, so here it will stay, on this blog for nobody to see.
We were deep in Sumatra. I don't even to this day know how Vegas, my best friend through life that got me in more trouble than I care to remember, found this place, this guide, even this island, but he did. Vegas had a friend that had found something incredible and wanted me and Vegas to be the first ones to see it. We are reporters. And some of the best ones in the world. Through our intense competition to the top of the reporting world is how we met and became friends, but that is a story for a different day.
Three days of walking across a jungle path that, at best, was wide enough for us to follow single file, and we finally arrived. Vegas and I were expecting something grand and spectacular, especially by how excited the friend was, but we had arrived to what looked like nothing more than a small opening in the ground, barely large enough for a man of reasonable size to fit through. The guide spoke very little English, but from what I understood at the time was that we were going to be a little uncomfortable. And that was a very large understatement, especially for anyone who is even a tiny claustrophobic.
It seemed like an eternity at the time, but looking back, it couldn't have been more than an hour or so of wiggling our way through the very small hole. It wasn't pleasant at all, there were things living in the hole first off, and there was just barely enough room to take a full breath. We were all exhausted by the end of the tunnel, and I remember very clearly being overwhelmingly relieved to be out of that cramped space, even though I had fallen out of the tunnel, into an underground pool, that felt more like one of the Great Lakes. Looking back, I don't know how the situation got better, but at the time it didn't matter. Somehow we managed to make our cramped tired bodies follow the guide to a shore where he shot off a flare. The cavern was immense, and so was the underground pool we just got out of. We appeared to make it to some sort of island. We set up camp and rested. The guide told us that we had a lot of walking to do.
The island was strange, but our destination was stranger. The ground we walked on for turned from sharp and ragged to flat and smooth. Also, the cavern began getting lighter. The closer we got to the light, the more movement there was. You could hear the bats above, and see the ground moving below. Then the source of the light. A whole way above in the cavern ceiling. No bigger than a football field. It gave enough light for sparse vegetation even. The guide pointed to a very large rock. Or what looked like a rock.
"You guys made it!"
It was Vegas' friend, he came from around another rock that we hadn't even noticed. There were tons of these rocks, all around, even where we came in, somehow we hadn't noticed them. As if that all wasn't enough, there was more. We heard a bark from behind us. It was a dog, but none like we had ever seen before. It was completely bald, and ghostly white, almost see through. Oh ya, it also had no eyes. It didn't even seem to notice. Vegas bent over to pet it and it's tale wagged.
"Guys, there is an entire society down here, undiscovered, this is their leader. They even have their own language down here, I have been trying to figure it out, and I've been getting pretty good. Oh, they don't shake hands, they fist pound. Ha cool huh?"
The man that he was standing next to was very short, no more than five foot, and he too was not only completely naked, but also 100% white. He still had eyes, but they were barely the size of pennies, and completely black.
Vegas and I stayed down there for a while and learned about the new society. It was hard to believe, too hard. That is why we decided that it was our duty to leave these people be. If we released the information we got about them, it would ruin them. They would become every scientist, every anthropologist, shit, everybody's little scientific experiment. We couldn't bring all that publicity to those people, so we left them be. I'm a writer though and writing is what I do, so here it will stay, on this blog for nobody to see.
Wants something bad
By 5:30 on a very abnormal Tuesday evening, Jonathan Smith was the most hungry he had ever been ever in his life. This is what Africa must feel like. Jonathan is a normal guy. He gets his haircut every five weeks the same way every time. He wakes up every morning at 7:35, give or take a minute because he likes to be up one hour before he has to get out the door for work, and by waking up at that time on the weekend, it keeps his body in tune. He follows the same routine every single morning, with the only variable being what he decides to eat and drink for breakfast. That he keeps a surprise. It makes the morning more interesting that way. This Tuesday was different however. For some reason his alarm either didn’t go off or he somehow slept through it. It not going off isn’t entirely out of the norm, after his glass of wine (or two, shhh) Jonathan sometimes forgets to set it, therefore, the minute or two of variation in his waking up, but today he didn’t wake. Little did Jonathan know at the time, but this would set off his entire day.
It was exactly 8:24 when Jonathan finally realized that he had not woken at the correct time. When he looked at his clock, he assumed that it was a dream, there is no way that he slept that late, he hadn’t slept that late since his college days he figured. But after a glance at his watch and a pinch to his arm, he realized it was all too true. Jonathan had never been late to work ever. Okay, maybe once when he was 17 or so, but those were his wild days. Jonathan had eleven minutes to make his ass out of the front door of his house. Actually, eighteen, he always gives himself a seven minute buffer just incase there is traffic or some unforeseeable slowdown on his way to work. After a quick moment to try and figure out which parts of his morning routine were not as necessary as others, Jonathan began getting ready as fast as he ever had. The problem is that all parts of his morning routine are very necessary for the well being of his day, but being how today had already started off on the wrong foot, it was most likely going to continue that way throughout, so he cut some things out. Two of those not so necessary things were breakfast, and making his lunch.
When he walked/ran through the front doors of his building, the sound of his stomach growling interrupted his thoughts about what he was going to say to his boss when he asked why he was late. Why hadn’t he just brought something in the car for breakfast? It was too late now, he would just have an early lunch, it would be alright. He sat at his desk and got to work immediately. Everybody acted normal when he arrived, maybe nobody had noticed. Then there was a knock.
“Hey Jonathan, how are you doing today?”
“Sir, I’m very good, thank you for asking, before you start, I just want to say that I am very sorry and that I know this isn’t like me, and Ted I promise it will never happen again”
After the look Ted gave him, Jonathan knew he had jumped the gun a little. “Jonathan, I don’t know how much coffee you drank this morning, but you’re going to need to settle down a bit. I was just coming to say that your memo that you sent out yesterday was very well written, I think people really got the message. Now what are you so damn upset about anyways?”
“Oh um, nevermind sir, Ted, it’s been a weird morning for me I guess, I’m sorry. Thank you very much though, I just really think it would be helpful for everybody to start labeling there food in the refrigerator. I understand that sometimes”
“Johnny, I’m saying it was a good memo, I read it, I know why you sent it and why you thought it was a good idea, it says it all in the memo. You always have very thorough memos John. I just stopped by to say good morning is all. Now get back to work alright and take a chill pill today, you look like you are going to have a heart attack this morning.”
“Oh, okay, thanks again Ted. I’m just trying to make this office the best it can be, ha. I’ll work on finding some of those chill pills.” Jonathan felt quite proud of his little joke, but Ted looked confused. “I mean, I’m not going to take any pills, ha, uh, I’ve never done anything like that every before so I sure won’t start now right?” Ted just shook his head a little bit and left. Jonathan always wondered why Ted always shook his head before he left. Jonathan knew that he was awkward sometimes, but he didn’t think it was too bad.
It just so turned out that today Jonathan was going to be swamped. This happens often enough, and that is why Jonathan chooses to pack a lunch everyday. After dealing with some of his first clients of the day, the small uncomfortable emptiness in his stomach had gotten larger. Also, the lion that seemed to have made a home in there was getting louder as the day progressed. He needed something, so it was time for a trip to the vending machine.
Unfortunate with this blog I had to make a chose. Keep writing it and finish a story from it, or quit on it for now and finish some other blogs. I chose to make some notes on the route I was going with it and maybe come back to it some other time if I still think it is worth it. So, maybe we will see more from Jonathan Smith some other time, right now I like him, so it is a definite probability.
It was exactly 8:24 when Jonathan finally realized that he had not woken at the correct time. When he looked at his clock, he assumed that it was a dream, there is no way that he slept that late, he hadn’t slept that late since his college days he figured. But after a glance at his watch and a pinch to his arm, he realized it was all too true. Jonathan had never been late to work ever. Okay, maybe once when he was 17 or so, but those were his wild days. Jonathan had eleven minutes to make his ass out of the front door of his house. Actually, eighteen, he always gives himself a seven minute buffer just incase there is traffic or some unforeseeable slowdown on his way to work. After a quick moment to try and figure out which parts of his morning routine were not as necessary as others, Jonathan began getting ready as fast as he ever had. The problem is that all parts of his morning routine are very necessary for the well being of his day, but being how today had already started off on the wrong foot, it was most likely going to continue that way throughout, so he cut some things out. Two of those not so necessary things were breakfast, and making his lunch.
When he walked/ran through the front doors of his building, the sound of his stomach growling interrupted his thoughts about what he was going to say to his boss when he asked why he was late. Why hadn’t he just brought something in the car for breakfast? It was too late now, he would just have an early lunch, it would be alright. He sat at his desk and got to work immediately. Everybody acted normal when he arrived, maybe nobody had noticed. Then there was a knock.
“Hey Jonathan, how are you doing today?”
“Sir, I’m very good, thank you for asking, before you start, I just want to say that I am very sorry and that I know this isn’t like me, and Ted I promise it will never happen again”
After the look Ted gave him, Jonathan knew he had jumped the gun a little. “Jonathan, I don’t know how much coffee you drank this morning, but you’re going to need to settle down a bit. I was just coming to say that your memo that you sent out yesterday was very well written, I think people really got the message. Now what are you so damn upset about anyways?”
“Oh um, nevermind sir, Ted, it’s been a weird morning for me I guess, I’m sorry. Thank you very much though, I just really think it would be helpful for everybody to start labeling there food in the refrigerator. I understand that sometimes”
“Johnny, I’m saying it was a good memo, I read it, I know why you sent it and why you thought it was a good idea, it says it all in the memo. You always have very thorough memos John. I just stopped by to say good morning is all. Now get back to work alright and take a chill pill today, you look like you are going to have a heart attack this morning.”
“Oh, okay, thanks again Ted. I’m just trying to make this office the best it can be, ha. I’ll work on finding some of those chill pills.” Jonathan felt quite proud of his little joke, but Ted looked confused. “I mean, I’m not going to take any pills, ha, uh, I’ve never done anything like that every before so I sure won’t start now right?” Ted just shook his head a little bit and left. Jonathan always wondered why Ted always shook his head before he left. Jonathan knew that he was awkward sometimes, but he didn’t think it was too bad.
It just so turned out that today Jonathan was going to be swamped. This happens often enough, and that is why Jonathan chooses to pack a lunch everyday. After dealing with some of his first clients of the day, the small uncomfortable emptiness in his stomach had gotten larger. Also, the lion that seemed to have made a home in there was getting louder as the day progressed. He needed something, so it was time for a trip to the vending machine.
Unfortunate with this blog I had to make a chose. Keep writing it and finish a story from it, or quit on it for now and finish some other blogs. I chose to make some notes on the route I was going with it and maybe come back to it some other time if I still think it is worth it. So, maybe we will see more from Jonathan Smith some other time, right now I like him, so it is a definite probability.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Third level dialogue
"Wow John today really is a great day to go for a three mile walk, nice work." John knew the tone all to well, he never really could please Kate sometimes. "Kate I know, I'm sorry I should have checked the weather." She wouldn't even look at him, "no, no, no, I really love being soaking wet and freezing cold, c'mon babe, you know that."
"Here take my coat."
"Ya, that will make it much better, another layer of cold wet clothes, thank you so much for the offer John, but why don't you just keep it for yourself." John felt bad, he thought he had planned the perfect day, and it looked beautiful out when the first took off, but the further they got away from civilization, the darker the clouds got. When Kate asked if they should turn around, John was determined that God wouldn't ruin his perfect day, that the clouds would pass. They didn't, however. Now he was stuck with a pissed off Kate and still another cold wet half mile at least before they would reach their car. After a few minutes of silence from Kate, he thought she might have given up trying to make him feel bad. But he was wrong. "You know what John? I think we should plan our long walks in the country around this kind of weather more often. What a perfect day."
"Here take my coat."
"Ya, that will make it much better, another layer of cold wet clothes, thank you so much for the offer John, but why don't you just keep it for yourself." John felt bad, he thought he had planned the perfect day, and it looked beautiful out when the first took off, but the further they got away from civilization, the darker the clouds got. When Kate asked if they should turn around, John was determined that God wouldn't ruin his perfect day, that the clouds would pass. They didn't, however. Now he was stuck with a pissed off Kate and still another cold wet half mile at least before they would reach their car. After a few minutes of silence from Kate, he thought she might have given up trying to make him feel bad. But he was wrong. "You know what John? I think we should plan our long walks in the country around this kind of weather more often. What a perfect day."
Bear at the door
“Hey sweetheart, nice ass.” The statement was mostly shocking to them both. After the initial shock, however, Jane immediately turned to me, eyebrows raised as if she was wondering why I hadn’t already done something. All I wanted was to get my ass kicked in pool by my wonderful girlfriend of two years, but with the knot tightening in my stomach; it appeared that tonight was going to have a lot more in store. My first reaction was to look around as if to see if a teacher or somebody of authority would be found in this dinky little bar to hear this guy and take care of him for me. Remembering that I am an adult and there aren’t authority figures always around to take care of confrontations for me, I stammered a little and addressed the tall well built gentleman. “Excuse me sir, that’s my girlfriend you are talking to.” I didn’t think the statement came out nearly as bold and defiant as I thought it would, and after the guy turned to his buddies and laughed, I knew for sure it hadn’t. “What’s she doing with a dude like you, that fine ass should be with a man that knows what to do with it,” followed by more laughter from him and his friends. All I wanted to do now was leave, and I was willing to accept the ridicule while I walked out the door. I didn’t have to go back to that bar again, it wasn’t very nice anyways. We could find a new bar no problem. But the look in Jane’s eyes wasn’t one of “let’s find a new bar”, more like “you had better do something”. Now I was uncomfortable and getting angry for being put in the situation both by this guy and Jane wanting me to do something about it when clearly this guy and his two buddies could easily kick my ass. “Hey man, why don’t you just mind your business and go find some whore to hook up with and leave me and my girlfriend alone.” And that was clearly enough to commence a battle with the guy. At one point I thought to myself, I thought these things were supposed to end after high school, but apparently not for everyone. With the very few fighting skills I possess, most of them, actually all of them learned from television, movies, and video games, I didn’t last very long in the fight. Two weeks later, with the shadow of a black eye still, I got engaged. I knew that if I would get into a fist fight for Jane, she was for sure the one. Plus, it made her absolutely adore me, even though I got my ass kicked.
Journey
Before he knew it his life was turned upside down…literally. The big storm on the coast of Australia had lifted the garbage can he was digging through while looking for the leftover cheesy fries he could smell and tossed it and him into the vast ocean. Even though his nest, wife, and little pinkies (they still hadn’t gotten there fur) weren’t too far from the beach, he wasn’t very familiar with the ocean. He recognized its smell, but it tasted horrible. Even worse than the yellow water that he sometimes came across in the white bowls. He managed to make his way to the top of the garbage can and squeaked and squeaked for help, but it was in vain. He tried swimming back to home, but he didn’t make it very far before getting too tired to continue any further, so he was forced to go back to what appeared to be his new home. Inside the garbage can wasn’t horrible, it had all the amenities of back home, but it lacked the most important thing, his family. Now he was accompanied by new companions that continually bumped against new home. They were strange creatures that lived inside the horrible tasting water. They looked silly with strange big eyes on either side of there head and strange looking wings along there body. Worst of all, they didn’t understand him. The first time he noticed them following his home, he asked what they were, but got nothing back. With all of his food gone, he was starting to get desperate. He was starving and couldn’t concentrate on anything but his stomach. Screw it; he had to do something so he leapt into the water once again, this time with no intention of turning back. After swimming for an eternity, his home was no longer visible, but he was driven with an insurmountable urge to eat, so he continued forth. About to give up, he noticed something protruding out of the water! Maybe it was a new home! With food! The object was getting closer and closer, almost too quickly, but the thought of food blinded him. When he reached the object, instead of being greeted with a tasty meal like he had hoped, he was greeted with a large dark opening of which he was swirled into. He made it onto something solid and there were tiny little creatures squirming all around him. He was frightened, and his lungs were full of water. The tongue he made it onto slowly lifted, dumping him deep into the digestive system of a whale.
I wanted to try something different with Journey and I failed miserably, but I didn't want to just trash it because I spent time on it. I tried writing from a rat's perspective, but it was difficult to do and probably a waste of time because I know my audience isn't children and it is hard to relate to a rat, but here it is, it was worth the experiment I think. Also, I know the ending sucked, but I knew the story was lame, so I kind of just pooped out.
I wanted to try something different with Journey and I failed miserably, but I didn't want to just trash it because I spent time on it. I tried writing from a rat's perspective, but it was difficult to do and probably a waste of time because I know my audience isn't children and it is hard to relate to a rat, but here it is, it was worth the experiment I think. Also, I know the ending sucked, but I knew the story was lame, so I kind of just pooped out.
Friday, September 25, 2009
More like birth of a story in three hours or less
I didn't really know how to approach this so I just dove right in and ended up typing away for over three hours, which is too long because I have to get ready for work, so some of the last things I tried wrapping up kind of quickly. I was surprised, however, how quickly and easily most of this rolled right out of my brain. In Word it is just over three pages single spaced. So here we go:
Dialogue between Drew and Aaron
D: How’s your car coming?
A: It’s alright, come here, hold this for me.
D: Why is this necessary?
A: I don’t know, (with a shrug of his shoulders) I found a guy that was selling it for cheap and I could use it.
D: Ha, this is a helluva lot of work for something that you “could use”, besides your car is fucking fast already, why do you need it to be faster?
A: Are you kidding? That fucking Prelude almost took me last week, you were there.
D: Ya key word, almost.
A: I should be easily stomping imports, I want start doing this shit for real.
D: What do you mean for real? We go to Midway every week.
A: No I mean I wanna start doing this for money.
D: Haha you have lost your mind. Are you kidding me? That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard you say all night. Dude neither one of our driving records can even handle a speeding ticket let alone racing and shit. We are pushing our luck as it is and now you want to start doing this more and for money?
A: You don’t have to come.
D: So you are serious. Dude we should talk this through a little bit.
A: No, like I said, I’m doing it. I’ve thought it through, this is the next step for me, I gotta do something. I hate installing leather seats and things and not making shit. I went to that expensive ass school to teach me all these things and the best job I can find is installing sunroofs for a dick boss getting paid $12 an hour. It’s bullshit and I’m fed up with it, I gotta make a move, aren’t you tired of sitting around here not doing shit with your life?
D: Dude last time I checked I was working my way through college. You went to a car school to follow your passion. I’m half through with my education, I still don’t even know what I want to be, and you already have yours and are in a job. Things take time, you gotta learn to walk before you can run bro. I think street racing is a bad idea, neither one of us needs to get deeper into that lifestyle. Going to Midway is fun and fucking around with other cars and racing here and there is ok, but when you talk about doing it for money, that changes the game up.
A: I’m tired of wasting my time. I want to get my school paid off, my mustang paid off and I want to start making some real money. I need to move out of my mom’s house man. I knew coming into it that the automotive industry takes time, but I didn’t think it would take this long, I just need to do something now, to get me moving along faster. If I could get some money saved up I could start my own shop. You and me man.
D: All I’m saying is that doing it illegally isn’t going to make it easier, it might be quicker, but you gotta look long term. What are you gonna do when you blow your motor? Or crash? What about get caught? What are you going to do about those things?
A: Dude, I’ve seen it man, I’m smarter than that, I know of ways I can do this legitimately. I’ve thought it through. You know those old warehouses off of Orrin? Back there is perfect, nobody is ever back there at night, I figured we could find people around Midway and take ‘em back there. So are you gonna be down or what?
D: Dude c’mon. First, you know I got your back no matter what, but you gotta listen to me. This isn’t the way to do it.
A: Just come with me tonight.
D: Alright, but if it starts to get sketchy we dip.
A: For sure, no problem, you let me know and we are outa there.
Setting:
Drew always found it odd walking into Aaron’s mom’s dimly lit garage. Looking around the unfinished walls was Patty’s stuff all over, lawn chairs, baseball/softball mitts, bicycles, weed eater, women’s golf clubs and the rest of her stuff, but the garage floor itself was Aaron’s domain. Whenever he had a project Patty’s SUV was the first to go outside to make space. Tonight Aaron’s smoke gray mustang sat diagonally across the floor, hood up spilling bright florescent light from underneath. His overcompensatingly big red 60 gallon air compressor sat in the corner occasionally deafening them when the motor kicks in to keep pressure built up. Between that, Aaron’s Snap-On impact wrench’s constant whirring, and some sort of random mix of hip-hop, rock, and country music, it was a matter of time before Patty rolled out of bed to tell us it was enough for the night. Then they would have to turn down the music and switch to his hand tools. Tonight there was another oddity, Aaron’s project must involve some sort of burning of plastic because after it hit Drew’s nostrils, that’s all he could smell even when he went inside to grab a them a couple beers.
Aaron’s Character:
1. Aaron is a smaller guy, five foot ten or so, 135 lbs soaking wet, which he always hated. He would complain to his buddy Drew about how he can never gain any weight which always pissed Drew off because he, like most normal people, had exactly the opposite problem. Aaron is always well kept, never ever leaving the house unless he hair was properly gelled, his clothes were clean and wrinkle free, his white undershirt’s collar always showing just a little bit under his shirt, but it always had to be even, and shoes that either matched some aspect of his shirt, belt or hat. Aaron was always self conscious about his looks so he would always be extra meticulous when getting ready; he had to look perfect, which usually paid off because he had no problem with the ladies.
2. Aaron has always kept to himself. He doesn’t have a problem making friends, but he usually keeps his distance. Even his best friend who he has hung out with forever, Drew, can’t crack into him. There have only been very few occasions, most of them involving lots of beer, where Aaron has opened up to Drew a little and show his true self. Aaron used to be very close to his father. When Aaron finished up at his car school, when he moved back it was his father’s place that he moved into, and it was almost like a bachelor’s pad. They were very close up until his father remarried. This has taken its toll on Aaron commitment to relationships. Although he has no problem finding amazing chicks, they usually don’t last very long. The one relationship that Drew thought was going to actually work out, after she asked him to move in, he broke up with her and bought a car. In essence showing were his true love lies.
3. Aaron is always looking for the next best thing. He moved to Wyoming to go to a very good and expensive car school hoping to pursue his passion in the automotive industry, but after moving back, he carries nothing but dead end jobs doing things like repairing interiors, or installing sunroofs with managers that always seem to be very mean and demanding. He also has held a part time job since high school in an automotive parts store, mostly to get discounts on parts and tools for his garage. His passion and pleasure however lay with his various vehicles.
4. Aaron’s biggest fears come in the form of people’s judgments. Aaron doesn’t want to end up a screw-up like his sister; he wants to be somebody. He is constantly aware of people’s eyes, always trying to see if they are judging some aspect of his appearance.
5. What Aaron wants most is to be satisfied. He desires most to be satisfied with his looks, his car, his friendships, his job, and his relationships.
Before the conversation:
Alright, the collar is good, my hair is good, shoes are cleaned, that should be everything. Damn, I forgot to clean out my car. It’s alright, Aaron glances at the clock on the microwave, I still have five minutes. He grabs his keys out of the bowl on the counter and starts out the door.
“By honey, good luck with your date!”
“Thanks mom, don’t wait up, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Aaron throws open the door to his mustang and quickly grabs the two Mountain Dew bottles and receipt from Target off the floor of his back seat and throws them away. A quick brush off of the dust on the dash board, and, perfect, he is off.
After the date, Aaron drove back home, alone. Amanda was really nice, and seemed really into him, but he saw her looking at his hair and Aaron didn’t take her joke very well about being almost the same size. Also, even though she said she didn’t care, Aaron thought he saw her snicker a little bit when he told her he is living in the basement of his mom’s house. That’s alright, I couldn’t have her Chevy Cobalt ever parked in front of my house anyways he thought as he rolled down the window and turned up the radio.
After the conversation:
His quick shift into third still made the tires chirp. Aaron had found someone to race, the wager: one thousand dollars, most of Aaron’s savings account. The Dodge Neon SRT-4 that he was racing shouldn’t be a problem for his Mach One, even stock, but it was keeping up. Drew was at the start line still, rooting for his buddy when one of the Neon guys’ crew came up to him and said, “Hand over the money.” As soon as he had finished his sentence Aaron was pulling away from the Neon and was for sure about to win. “Ha, I think you are confused buddy.” The two other guys he was with took a step towards him. “No, I don’t care if your buddy wins or loses, you are going to hand over the money.” Drew was starting to sweat a little, he unfortunately forgot his posse of douschebags at home and was not looking forward to what was going to happen next. “Bro just take it easy man, how about win or lose, we just take off and forget about this whole thing? It was a good race.” Finally Drew could hear the roar of Aaron’s exhaust getting closer. Drew couldn’t think of what to do, the main guy was practically breathing down his throat and he could see one of the other guys was carrying something so he kneed the guy right in the groin and took off running as fast as he could toward Aaron. Aaron’s car screeched down to a mostly slow roll and with the three guys right behind him and the Neon pulling up, all Drew had time to do was try jumping in the rolled down window.
Later, after a long chase through the Cities, Aaron finally lost the Neon crew. When they got back to his house, Aaron woke his mom to take a look at Drew. He was hurting pretty bad, and was having a hard time breathing. Patty thought that maybe he had broken a rib or two. Turns out Drew’s first attempt at jumping into a moving car wasn’t so graceful after all. They got him wrapped up and put a beer in his hand, he would be alright. After the adrenaline started wearing off, Drew looked over at Aaron, “Dude, you can do whatever you want, but next time, I’m not down to follow.” They both laughed a little and Aaron apologized. “Maybe I’ll try picking up another job or something.”
Dialogue between Drew and Aaron
D: How’s your car coming?
A: It’s alright, come here, hold this for me.
D: Why is this necessary?
A: I don’t know, (with a shrug of his shoulders) I found a guy that was selling it for cheap and I could use it.
D: Ha, this is a helluva lot of work for something that you “could use”, besides your car is fucking fast already, why do you need it to be faster?
A: Are you kidding? That fucking Prelude almost took me last week, you were there.
D: Ya key word, almost.
A: I should be easily stomping imports, I want start doing this shit for real.
D: What do you mean for real? We go to Midway every week.
A: No I mean I wanna start doing this for money.
D: Haha you have lost your mind. Are you kidding me? That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard you say all night. Dude neither one of our driving records can even handle a speeding ticket let alone racing and shit. We are pushing our luck as it is and now you want to start doing this more and for money?
A: You don’t have to come.
D: So you are serious. Dude we should talk this through a little bit.
A: No, like I said, I’m doing it. I’ve thought it through, this is the next step for me, I gotta do something. I hate installing leather seats and things and not making shit. I went to that expensive ass school to teach me all these things and the best job I can find is installing sunroofs for a dick boss getting paid $12 an hour. It’s bullshit and I’m fed up with it, I gotta make a move, aren’t you tired of sitting around here not doing shit with your life?
D: Dude last time I checked I was working my way through college. You went to a car school to follow your passion. I’m half through with my education, I still don’t even know what I want to be, and you already have yours and are in a job. Things take time, you gotta learn to walk before you can run bro. I think street racing is a bad idea, neither one of us needs to get deeper into that lifestyle. Going to Midway is fun and fucking around with other cars and racing here and there is ok, but when you talk about doing it for money, that changes the game up.
A: I’m tired of wasting my time. I want to get my school paid off, my mustang paid off and I want to start making some real money. I need to move out of my mom’s house man. I knew coming into it that the automotive industry takes time, but I didn’t think it would take this long, I just need to do something now, to get me moving along faster. If I could get some money saved up I could start my own shop. You and me man.
D: All I’m saying is that doing it illegally isn’t going to make it easier, it might be quicker, but you gotta look long term. What are you gonna do when you blow your motor? Or crash? What about get caught? What are you going to do about those things?
A: Dude, I’ve seen it man, I’m smarter than that, I know of ways I can do this legitimately. I’ve thought it through. You know those old warehouses off of Orrin? Back there is perfect, nobody is ever back there at night, I figured we could find people around Midway and take ‘em back there. So are you gonna be down or what?
D: Dude c’mon. First, you know I got your back no matter what, but you gotta listen to me. This isn’t the way to do it.
A: Just come with me tonight.
D: Alright, but if it starts to get sketchy we dip.
A: For sure, no problem, you let me know and we are outa there.
Setting:
Drew always found it odd walking into Aaron’s mom’s dimly lit garage. Looking around the unfinished walls was Patty’s stuff all over, lawn chairs, baseball/softball mitts, bicycles, weed eater, women’s golf clubs and the rest of her stuff, but the garage floor itself was Aaron’s domain. Whenever he had a project Patty’s SUV was the first to go outside to make space. Tonight Aaron’s smoke gray mustang sat diagonally across the floor, hood up spilling bright florescent light from underneath. His overcompensatingly big red 60 gallon air compressor sat in the corner occasionally deafening them when the motor kicks in to keep pressure built up. Between that, Aaron’s Snap-On impact wrench’s constant whirring, and some sort of random mix of hip-hop, rock, and country music, it was a matter of time before Patty rolled out of bed to tell us it was enough for the night. Then they would have to turn down the music and switch to his hand tools. Tonight there was another oddity, Aaron’s project must involve some sort of burning of plastic because after it hit Drew’s nostrils, that’s all he could smell even when he went inside to grab a them a couple beers.
Aaron’s Character:
1. Aaron is a smaller guy, five foot ten or so, 135 lbs soaking wet, which he always hated. He would complain to his buddy Drew about how he can never gain any weight which always pissed Drew off because he, like most normal people, had exactly the opposite problem. Aaron is always well kept, never ever leaving the house unless he hair was properly gelled, his clothes were clean and wrinkle free, his white undershirt’s collar always showing just a little bit under his shirt, but it always had to be even, and shoes that either matched some aspect of his shirt, belt or hat. Aaron was always self conscious about his looks so he would always be extra meticulous when getting ready; he had to look perfect, which usually paid off because he had no problem with the ladies.
2. Aaron has always kept to himself. He doesn’t have a problem making friends, but he usually keeps his distance. Even his best friend who he has hung out with forever, Drew, can’t crack into him. There have only been very few occasions, most of them involving lots of beer, where Aaron has opened up to Drew a little and show his true self. Aaron used to be very close to his father. When Aaron finished up at his car school, when he moved back it was his father’s place that he moved into, and it was almost like a bachelor’s pad. They were very close up until his father remarried. This has taken its toll on Aaron commitment to relationships. Although he has no problem finding amazing chicks, they usually don’t last very long. The one relationship that Drew thought was going to actually work out, after she asked him to move in, he broke up with her and bought a car. In essence showing were his true love lies.
3. Aaron is always looking for the next best thing. He moved to Wyoming to go to a very good and expensive car school hoping to pursue his passion in the automotive industry, but after moving back, he carries nothing but dead end jobs doing things like repairing interiors, or installing sunroofs with managers that always seem to be very mean and demanding. He also has held a part time job since high school in an automotive parts store, mostly to get discounts on parts and tools for his garage. His passion and pleasure however lay with his various vehicles.
4. Aaron’s biggest fears come in the form of people’s judgments. Aaron doesn’t want to end up a screw-up like his sister; he wants to be somebody. He is constantly aware of people’s eyes, always trying to see if they are judging some aspect of his appearance.
5. What Aaron wants most is to be satisfied. He desires most to be satisfied with his looks, his car, his friendships, his job, and his relationships.
Before the conversation:
Alright, the collar is good, my hair is good, shoes are cleaned, that should be everything. Damn, I forgot to clean out my car. It’s alright, Aaron glances at the clock on the microwave, I still have five minutes. He grabs his keys out of the bowl on the counter and starts out the door.
“By honey, good luck with your date!”
“Thanks mom, don’t wait up, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Aaron throws open the door to his mustang and quickly grabs the two Mountain Dew bottles and receipt from Target off the floor of his back seat and throws them away. A quick brush off of the dust on the dash board, and, perfect, he is off.
After the date, Aaron drove back home, alone. Amanda was really nice, and seemed really into him, but he saw her looking at his hair and Aaron didn’t take her joke very well about being almost the same size. Also, even though she said she didn’t care, Aaron thought he saw her snicker a little bit when he told her he is living in the basement of his mom’s house. That’s alright, I couldn’t have her Chevy Cobalt ever parked in front of my house anyways he thought as he rolled down the window and turned up the radio.
After the conversation:
His quick shift into third still made the tires chirp. Aaron had found someone to race, the wager: one thousand dollars, most of Aaron’s savings account. The Dodge Neon SRT-4 that he was racing shouldn’t be a problem for his Mach One, even stock, but it was keeping up. Drew was at the start line still, rooting for his buddy when one of the Neon guys’ crew came up to him and said, “Hand over the money.” As soon as he had finished his sentence Aaron was pulling away from the Neon and was for sure about to win. “Ha, I think you are confused buddy.” The two other guys he was with took a step towards him. “No, I don’t care if your buddy wins or loses, you are going to hand over the money.” Drew was starting to sweat a little, he unfortunately forgot his posse of douschebags at home and was not looking forward to what was going to happen next. “Bro just take it easy man, how about win or lose, we just take off and forget about this whole thing? It was a good race.” Finally Drew could hear the roar of Aaron’s exhaust getting closer. Drew couldn’t think of what to do, the main guy was practically breathing down his throat and he could see one of the other guys was carrying something so he kneed the guy right in the groin and took off running as fast as he could toward Aaron. Aaron’s car screeched down to a mostly slow roll and with the three guys right behind him and the Neon pulling up, all Drew had time to do was try jumping in the rolled down window.
Later, after a long chase through the Cities, Aaron finally lost the Neon crew. When they got back to his house, Aaron woke his mom to take a look at Drew. He was hurting pretty bad, and was having a hard time breathing. Patty thought that maybe he had broken a rib or two. Turns out Drew’s first attempt at jumping into a moving car wasn’t so graceful after all. They got him wrapped up and put a beer in his hand, he would be alright. After the adrenaline started wearing off, Drew looked over at Aaron, “Dude, you can do whatever you want, but next time, I’m not down to follow.” They both laughed a little and Aaron apologized. “Maybe I’ll try picking up another job or something.”
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
A day in the life
"And would you like a soup or salad tonight?" Drew had on the best smile he could muster. He was busy, he had four other tables and they all needed shit too and this guy liked to the sound of his own voice. "A super salad? That sounds great!"
When he walked back in the kitchen, Katie was bitching, "Can you believe that asshole drank like five sodas, made me get him two refills of popovers," her hand went to her hip, "which I didn't charge him for, and still only left me fifteen percent?" At least she didn't have mister you better laugh at all my jokes because I'm wearing cowboy boots even though I'm not going to tip you worth a shit anyways. While Drew was getting cream and sugar for the guy's coffee, Ryan came rushing behind him with a tray of drinks and a big smile, "Coming on your backside!" Whether it was that big contagious smile, the thought of drinks after the shift, or that beautiful visual Ryan provided him, Drew couldn't help but cheer up a little.
When he walked back in the kitchen, Katie was bitching, "Can you believe that asshole drank like five sodas, made me get him two refills of popovers," her hand went to her hip, "which I didn't charge him for, and still only left me fifteen percent?" At least she didn't have mister you better laugh at all my jokes because I'm wearing cowboy boots even though I'm not going to tip you worth a shit anyways. While Drew was getting cream and sugar for the guy's coffee, Ryan came rushing behind him with a tray of drinks and a big smile, "Coming on your backside!" Whether it was that big contagious smile, the thought of drinks after the shift, or that beautiful visual Ryan provided him, Drew couldn't help but cheer up a little.
iceberg
Drew knew after right away that his dad was in one of those moods. A manager for over thirty years, sometimes he had a hard time separating family from employee. He knew what was coming when his dad opened up the pantry door. "Drew I told you yesterday to take out this damn garbage! What is it doing still in here?" Drew was now given a choice; he could give in, say sorry and try moving on with the night or; he could take it upon himself to try reminding his dad that he is not one of his stupid employees. In a very sarcastic tone Drew chose the latter, "I'm so sorry sir I will get on that right away, you're not going to write me up are you?" And from that comment, Drew began his losing battle.
juggling
He slammed his door and turned the keys. Aaron's car gave a satisfying roar as it came to life, but the start-up roar wasn't going to be enough tonight. Before his window's made it all the way down he had left the driveway and was on his way to the freeway disturbing the neighborhood's peace due to his lack of timely shifting.
He knew her bedroom window would be open welcoming the crisp night air therefor she could maybe hear him all the way to the freeway. He was going to make sure of.
Blowing through the stop-light he turned onto the on-ramp kicking the back end of his car out making sure the tires screamed through the silent night. How could she be so bull-headed? Even though she wouldn't be able to hear him anymore, it didn't slow him down. With his rpms never dropping below three grand, his shift into fourth gear brought his Mustang over 100 mph.
Why hasn't she called me back, she knows I'm pissed. He thought for sure his theatrics through the neighborhood would worry her into calling him to cool him down. Screw it. I don't want to talk to her anyways.
He knew her bedroom window would be open welcoming the crisp night air therefor she could maybe hear him all the way to the freeway. He was going to make sure of.
Blowing through the stop-light he turned onto the on-ramp kicking the back end of his car out making sure the tires screamed through the silent night. How could she be so bull-headed? Even though she wouldn't be able to hear him anymore, it didn't slow him down. With his rpms never dropping below three grand, his shift into fourth gear brought his Mustang over 100 mph.
Why hasn't she called me back, she knows I'm pissed. He thought for sure his theatrics through the neighborhood would worry her into calling him to cool him down. Screw it. I don't want to talk to her anyways.
Monday, September 14, 2009
fictional character quest
She was his fountain of youth. He had to find her. He had made the mistake of losing her five years ago, then let her slip through his fingers once again two years later, but this time he was prepared. John had no concept of time, he simply obeyed his urge to fly. No matter what vehicle he was in, he took it to its limits. This time he was flying across a starry desert night Nevada highway in a 1969 blue and orange Ford GT40. John was a prisoner to classic cars. They always gave him trouble, but for some reason he couldn't give them up. There was something about the simplicity of a 60's vehicle that made him feel at most comfortable. Last he heard Steve was keeping his 1968 Ford Mustang GT500 in a garage in southern California. In a race for pinks Steve took her from him because of his own mistake. John got too confident. His Mustang had taken out too many cars to count, but he should have been smarter when racing the black Dodge Viper with plates that read "Bitten". He just got too comfortable, and that is the reason he lost her. He can't afford to make that mistake again. His speedometer buried, John pushed the gas petal down further. Making his way across America to find his one and only true love. It was four in the morning, but he wasn't tired, he was fueled by adrenaline pushing his GT40 through the slightly banked highway corners of speeds in excess of 160 mph. With his hands cold, but sweating, at this pace he would reach California by two in the afternoon. He knew he should sleep but he was getting too close. Once he found her, he would race for her once again, and this time prevail. Without her he was growing old, slowing down, finding it harder to push himself. The only cure was the feel of her warm leather steering wheel in one hand and cold metal shift handle in the other. Imagining sinking in her deep driver's seat staring over her beautiful raised gray hood, John found himself suddenly reaching Smyrna, the town he knew he would find her. This time she would be his and he could breathe fully again.
101 word story
He had to prove himself. His best friend and partner in crime Rob was there not only support him, but to be witness. Rob was the best kind of friend because he was great at telling stories, so when it was over, Rob would make Chris look like the man. All the ladies would love him even though he was a slightly pudgy kid that with a thin, but defined mustache at the age of fourteen. He bounced as hard as he could on his trampoline, leaned back hard and watched the world go upside down as he stuck his first backflip!
first sentence writing
Me and my brother Loftis came in by the old lady’s window. It was dark inside and very very quiet. Loftis assured me she was gone and nobody was home, but I was still unsure. I couldn’t believe I was doing this, but I was stuck now. I should have just shut my mouth when Loftis was talking about sneaking out tonight, but I wanted to impress him. “I’m not scared of nothing, can I please come.” When he told me no I just threatened to tell mom and dad and that was my ticket. So here we were breaking into the old lady’s house that never gave out candy at Halloween. I don’t even know how Loftis could know she was gone because her house was always dark. The only way anybody could tell that someone lived there was because every morning at 9:35 she was out in her garden behind the rarely mowed yard tucked beside her porch caring for her exotic looking flowers and plants. “I know she has my baseball in here somewhere that old crook.” I guess that’s how he justified the breaking in. As we took our first timid steps into the old house the floorboards creaked under our weight. The house was barren with sparse furniture scattered throughout. Beside the table was an old radio, but that was the only electronic to be found. “Where would it even be?” I asked. Loftis held a stern finger to his lips motioning for me to keep quiet. He was rummaging through drawers of a desk when there was a loud thud upstairs. We both froze and looked at each other. Shortly after the thud, both of us still frozen in place, we heard a screech come from upstairs. It was an odd sound, like a small animal stuck in a trap. I started to run, I didn’t know what was going on and I didn’t care. I was regretting being dragged into this mess and all I wanted was to be in my bed staring at the back of my eyelids. I got to the window that we had left open and Loftis grabbed me. “She sounds like she’s hurt” he whispered. “So, you know how much trouble are going to be in if anybody finds out we are here?” It didn’t matter Loftis started up the stairs and grabbed my arm to drag me with him. We heard a moan from the room at the end of the hall. “Ma’am?” I was trembling, but Loftis was in full control of himself like usual. Loftis knocked on the door, “Ma’am?” he said again. Still no response. He opened the door and we saw the old lady laying on the floor beside her bed. We went over to her, but she didn’t move or acknowledge that we were there. Loftis felt her neck. “Call mom and dad, I don’t know what to do.” Suddenly his voice was frightened. I had noticed a phone in the kitchen earlier and ran to it. Mom and dad got called the police then everything happened too fast to remember. We ended up saving the old ladies life that night, she had a heart attack and if we hadn’t gotten to her when we did, she probably wouldn’t have made it. After mom and dad found out that we had broken in to find a baseball however, it still didn’t stop them from grounding the both of us, and even though Loftis was the true hero, he got it worse than I did with no tv or dessert for a week.
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